The Crazy country that is Japan

i know many of you think that i am crazy, but check out these doozies from the japanese.

First off: The Ice Cream Man-

Every Tuesday, wednesday, thursday and saturday morning i hear the icecream man. you know, the tunes that play throughout the neighbor hood, to let children know that a big truck with a scary looking man is on his way to sell you a tasty summer treat. well they have it japan too, but here the scary looking man is actually the driver of the garbage truck. They japanese actually place music throughout the city to let you know that the trash is being picked up. i hate it. on my days off i wake up to japanese music pouring out of A GARBAGE TRUCK!!! at 8 in the morning. ughh.

Hooker Boots:
In the states we call them hooker boots (or stripper boots). the tall black boots with high heels that come up to a girls knees, followed by some gratuitous leg then a short skirt. Perverts...welcome to japan. i would be willing to say that 50 percent of all women wear these outfits. by the way, japanese women CANT WALK in high heels. i cant count the number of times i have seen a japanese woman fall on her face because of the awkward walk they do in the boots. how about this... TAKE THEM OFF!!!

The Tim Allen effect:
all people in japan make a strange noise. i call it the tim allen. why you ask? ever seen home improvement? you know the EEeaaauuuiii? noise that he makes? the japanese have mastered it, and it is part of their language. It is extremely annoying. i think i can translate. it means: Really? No Way! Are You sure? i dont believe you. What? I just went to the bathroom! You did what!? Who? What? Where? When? Why? How?
I just dont get it, but i have mastered it... like i said, i now understand about five percent of japanese, and that word constitutes 99% of that understanding.

Finally... The Wow Japanese girls:
A friend here once asked me what i though tof japanese girls. i said i thought that it was about the same as in the us. some were actractive, some werent. He said it one step better: 'I see a beautiful japanese girl and i think 'Wow!', then she opens her mouth and i see her teeth, and i think 'Wow'.

enjoy. laugh. merry christmas.
scotto san